10 Reasons to Avoid Cuba (Part 3)

Part 1 is HERE.  

Part 2 is HERE. 

7. Castro's Revolution Has a Dark Side

We've all seen Fidel Castro in military garb, and he has legitimate claims to fending off CIA-backed fighters post-revolution. The problem is what he did after the revolution. As Orwell warned in Animal Farm, revolutionaries have a habit of becoming like previous overseers once in power. An excellent graphic novel, Cuba: My Revolution, shows post-revolutionary changes most people never see. 

"Leaving Cuba is not easy. The regime makes you quit working as soon as you apply for a visa even if it takes years to get it. An inspector inventories all your belongings. When you leave, all bills must be paid, your house left fully furnished, and your car turned in to the police station." 

"Fidel has abolished Easter, Christmas, New Year's Eve, and [the Feast of the] Epiphany." [Note: Fidel did not want holidays to interfere with the all-important sugar harvest. Cuba eventually allowed Christmas celebrations in 1998.] 

"I'm losing the pharmaceutical company. He's [Fidel] nationalizing everything. No one can have more than $800 in savings and all private practice will be abolished eventually." 

"UMAPs are camps established to eliminate counterrevolutionaries. Homosexuals. Jehovah's Witnesses and others are sent to remote areas, and sentenced to forced labor."

Bonus, from Wikipedia: "The UMAP camps served as a form of alternative civilian service for Cubans who could not serve in the military due to being, conscientious objectors, homosexuals, or political enemies of the revolution. The majority of UMAP servicemen were conscientious objectors... about 8% to 9% of the inmates were homosexual men, Jehovah's Witnesses, Seventh-day Adventists, Catholic priests and Protestant ministers, intellectuals, farmers who resisted collectivization, as well as anyone else considered 'anti-social' or 'counter-revolutionary.' Former Intelligence Directorate agent Norberto Fuentes estimated that of approximately 35,000 internees, 507 ended up in psychiatric wards, 72 died from torture, and 180 committed suicide." 

Some revolution, huh? 

8. Nothing Works Consistently in Cuba So Let's Dance Everybody

The prevailing image I'll have of Cuba is the owner of a small bakery holding his head in his hands. 

After a second day of heavy rains, the power went out--again. His bakery sells perishable items, including ice cream. The portable generator didn't work, and he propped the door open to prevent heat from destroying inventory. I wanted to take a picture of the owner but it felt inappropriate. Here he was, doing the best he could, selling excellent products, and it didn't matter--Havana's infrastructure was so poor, no matter how much he prepared, he could suffer losses quickly and unexpectedly. A handwritten sign on the wall asked, in English, "Looking for an investor." 

When small businesses start, they must find the cheapest rents--or the most comfy garages.  They do not get to start up in nicer locations, and if they do, their choice of increased costs might be one reason so many small businesses fail in the first four years (though such statistics are skewed by high-earning professionals creating a "fun" side business to a take a loss against income, then closing it after a few years). It takes time to build a book of business and loyal customers, and most business owners expect to lose money the first two years. 

In my case, when opening a solo law firm, I bought all my furniture from Goodwill and a consignment center and found a cheap annual lease in one of the oldest buildings in the city. (Tip: research the minimum lease period your state and city require for 60 or 90 days' notice to evict without cause, or you might have to move after just 30 days if you have a fickle landlord.) Despite no upgrades in many decades, things still worked. I knew the elevator would work almost all the time, the power would always be on unless the entire city went dark, and so on. It took a long time to get my business telephone and fax lines connected--and far too much money--but they got connected after about two weeks. (I disliked AT&T for many years after getting my costly business lines and eagerly hoped Vonage would gain momentum, but the quality of calls on Vonage was never very good--at least then. Today, I wonder how much the excessive cost of the business lines was due to a tax or fee imposed by the city rather than AT&T.) 

In any case, because of decent infrastructure, I could focus on work. Most importantly, I could open a business without needing to take out loans (I already had student loans), choose a fairly dismal location, and still compete with the rich, established folks in nicer areas. I had to charge lower prices, but that's the flywheel of business: you start out charging little and focus on learning as much as you can, and you can become an expert without needing to be profitable right away because you can pay lower set-up costs somewhere, and things still work. Even in one of Havana's most affluent neighborhoods, things did not work. The flywheel of small business creation, backed by enthusiastic elbow grease, couldn't get moving. 

In such an environment, where you cannot improve even if you work hard, why bother? Why not just dance and sing? 

9. Cuba Does Have Magic

It's not all bad. One humid day, I wanted an ice cream sandwich and asked a neighbor where I could find them. (Without WiFi regularly available, everyone relies on each other for information.)  He thought a store two streets down might have one, but they only had one flavor of ice cream pints, not the famous ice cream sandwiches (aka bocaditos de helado). 

Mmmm, crunchy coating

Before leaving the apartment complex, we had asked around about ice cream sandwiches, and another neighbor suggested the store we visited. On the way back, my neighbor called to a few people on their terraces in Spanish, asking them where we could find ice cream. When we got to the apartment complex, he took me to his apartment, and lo and behold, his little brother was on a small stool in the kitchen, happily scooping ice cream out of a generic tub. Somehow, in 15 minutes, the neighborhood had heard my Cuban neighbor's request and gotten his family ice cream. Show me any other country where that happens. 

My first day in Cuba, when I mentioned I wanted to try Cuba's famous bocaditos de helado, my landlord called out in Spanish through a window and then took me to the narrow hallway between my apartment and the one next to it. An outstretched hand awaited us with a bocadito de helado. The neighbor's side hustle was selling ice cream sandwiches. I exchanged money for ice cream without seeing her face because the alley was too narrow to have a proper introduction. 

I eventually found a place selling ice cream sandwiches with multiple flavors about a mile away, but the sandwiches didn't taste as good as my neighbor's. It's hard to compete with the first impression of an unexpected hand outside a window, offering ice cream. 

10.  Competition and Choices

The Dominican Republic, which also has beautiful beaches, is near Cuba.  Why visit Cuba when you can visit Caribbean beaches in a more comfy environment? 

Dominican Republic. Not Cuba. 

Conclusion

So I suppose I lied. These are not ten reasons to avoid Cuba. They're only nine. I visited Cuba when I was 39, the same age as Che Guevara when he was executed. Had Che lived longer, he would have learned that revolutionary ideals need sound economics and sustainable trade agreements to flourish. To be fair, America and other debt-ridden capitalist countries aren't exactly shining economic models, either. Maybe in the end, whatever label you give any system, it all decays because you're just following someone else's idealized version of society rather than your own moral conscience.

© Matthew Rafat (2017)

10 Reasons to Avoid Cuba (Part 2)

[Continued from HERE (Part 1).] 

5.  Cuba Still Rations Basics, and Prices Make No Sense

By the end of my month in Cuba, I was dreaming of entering a Whole Foods or Target and filling up a shopping cart. This is what Cuba's "supermarkets" sell: 

Your eyes do not deceive you.  You are indeed looking at large cans of tomato paste. Of all the items the store chose to advertise, this is what they felt was their best selection. (Maybe they wanted something large to fill up the window? It's not like they have competition.) I bought two toothbrushes for 50 cents each. I wanted shampoo, but they didn't have shampoo.

If you visit Cuban neighborhoods outside Old Havana, you'll see many people walking with trays of fresh eggs every day. You'll eventually realize Cubans get their food through rationing cards, just like the British did during WWII. As you might expect, a thriving black market exists, driven by remittances and products sent from abroad. My neighbor might live three to a room with a kitchen the size of a small closet, but her two sons own a used Xbox, probably smuggled into the country after bribing a guard.

Cuba claims to be opening up, but it's hamstrung by U.S. sanctions and its own poverty. Any ship that docks in a Cuban port cannot dock in an American port for at least 6 months. As a result, the main countries with trade agreements and enough products to sell solely in Latin and South America are China and Spain. Almost all of Cuba's new cars--which, due to limited supply, cost almost as much as a small apartment in Havana, or about 22,000 USD--are Geelys made in China. (Most of the old cars are Ladas, which are Russian-made and still running after 20+ years.) Everything that consistently works in Cuba is made in China, from buses to fridges to trash pickup trucks. A cynic would say China uses Cubans as guinea pigs to make sure their products work before shipping them to more developed countries, but I didn't see any evidence of inferior quality. 

Cuba is known for having old American cars, but such cars are popular because Cubans don't have sufficient disposable income to justify having any auto dealerships. Once you realize this, the old cars start to look sad. 

Old because Cubans can't afford new cars

They're also a convenient way for Cubans to make money from excitable tourists. A taxi ride in an old American car costs about 5 USD a person, whereas Cubans accustomed to the old cars see them as just another option in the taxi business and pay about 40 to 50 cents a ride. I rode in a few old cars and enjoyed the large and comfy seats, but otherwise, they're nothing special. Just more propaganda from a country that doesn't have much to offer outsiders, forcing it to rely on gimmicks to attract tourists (and foreign currency). 

Just for fun, here's an actual Cuban cop car--try not to laugh: 

I did see one encouraging sign. Cuba recently opened several "supermarket" locations called Jabon y Agua (literally, "Soap and Water"). These stores offer more consumer choices, but their prices make no sense and are unaffordable for the typical Cuban, so it's possible they're another way for Cuba to gouge foreign exchange students or visitors. On the other hand, maybe the stores are a way to compete with the black market. I saw someone offering to sell a Gillette Fusion razor blade to a restaurant owner for 20 USD, twice the price in the U.S.  He didn't have any blade refills, so I'm not sure if the seller understood his own product. 

Cubans cannot afford 9 USD for shaving cream so who's buying?
Why is it over 2x the EU and USA price? 

To summarize, Cuba isn't nostalgic by choice--things are old because of economic failure and poverty. My landlord summarized the situation perfectly: 

6. Cuban Culture Gets Stranger the Longer You Live in Cuba

Cuba was the only country in Latin and South America where I saw a police officer catcall a woman. It's the only LatAm country I've visited where the men look prettier than the women and where construction workers commonly have perfectly coiffed hair and six-packs. 

A Cuban man, whether rich or poor, looks like he's spent hours in front of the mirror before leaving the house. Perhaps young Cuban men think they're required to look like Colombian pop star Maluma (like Justin Bieber, but talented) in public. In a place where few people read for pleasure (newspapers are official government propaganda, and why bother reading if all the dollars are tourism-related?), and televisions show mostly anti-Western propaganda (imported from Venezuela) or music videos, looks matter. After all, brains won't get you the girl when everyone makes the same government salary. 

I always play basketball when I travel, not just because I like the game, but because it's a simple way to determine a country's culture. For example, how often and when do people foul? How hard do they play defense? Are they more interested in showmanship than fundamentals? When there is a dispute, how is it resolved? Do they even let strangers play?

In Cuba, basketball is a theater-like performance. I've never seen so much preening and flamboyance. Games that should have lasted 10 minutes took 30 minutes. When a foul is disputed, no one "shoots for it" and gets back to playing. They take turns demonstrating how upset they are and then argue their case before all the sitting players, who function as an informal jury. Both players will storm off in opposite directions, gesticulating wildly, and then return to the center and loudly proclaim their innocence or the other player's malevolence. This happens every single time a foul is called, whether offensive or defensive. (If Cuba doesn't already have a national mascot, I propose a hybrid of a peacock and an angry chihuahua.)

It gets better. If a particularly lucky shot goes in, the shooter might do a dance that would put former NFL player Ickey Woods to shame. One player, after humping the air and moving forward for 10 seconds, progressed to actually humping his defender, who had to push him away. The shooter continued humping, this time in a stationary pose.

Basketball fundamentals are non-existent because Cubans can't go on YouTube to learn anything, which makes Charles Barkley's 1992 Olympic elbow even more flagrant. When I started doing high pick-and-rolls with two other American tourists on my team, the Cubans didn't know how to switch. One skilled Cuban player, after being subjected to the same play two times, spent a minute dramatically expressing his frustration at his teammates before passing the ball (yes, even when there was no foul, a Cuban player found a way to lengthen the game).

I started to understand when the government gives you a guaranteed job (at low pay) and controls your food supply, there's no place where people can feel heard--except the basketball court or other public places. If your work ethic or words won't get you a promotion, you're not going to suggest doing anything differently--you'll just want to finish your job with minimal effort and go home. In a sense, the basketball court in Cuba, at least for the working class, is one of the only places where results matter. Perhaps that's why they're so adamant about spending as much time on it as possible.

Even in the straightforward world of sports, it's hard not to feel Cuba is a tragedy. I met a wrestler distinguished enough to award medals at the local youth wrestling tournament, and he showed me pictures with famous Cuban wrestlers Mijaín López and Ismael Borrero. He also proudly showed me a video of his 11 years-old son in a tournament. I'm a former wrestler lucky to have had two state champion coaches in high school, but my training started and stopped in high school. (By the way, everyone seems eager to praise teachers, but my high school coaches--the Vierra brothers, Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Cunningham, and my track and field coaches were most responsible for any maturity I might have today, whereas I despise almost all of my high school teachers and wish them fiery deaths.)

With this young wrestler, I was taken aback by the many simple changes that would quickly improve his skill level. The son and I grappled for a few minutes, and I showed him how to make improvements, but I couldn't shake the feeling I was showing him things he should have learned in his first three months of training. Increasing my discomfort was the fact that Cuba is formidable in boxing and wrestling globally, so lack of internet access shouldn't impact institutional knowledge. Yet, somehow, this eager young man's talents were not being developed adequately.

I realized the father was athletic when I saw him at a street food and coffee stall. His forearms were twice my size, and I'm no slouch at 230 pounds. I decided to challenge him to an arm wrestling match to break the ice, and he agreed. Much to my surprise, I won. After seeing more and more Cuban men larger and more chiseled than me, I realized they weren't strong. Even the ones who lifted weights didn't seem strong, and I couldn't figure it out until I saw two random Cubans in a mall.  I didn't think they were Cuban because they wore completely new brand-name clothing and were obviously fit. I walked up to them and asked if they were Cuban, and they said they were. That's when I realized the problem. Poverty destroys everything. 

Most of the Cuban men I saw didn't have access to protein except for eggs. Even if they exercised 3 times as much as me, they wouldn't be able to compete effectively on their diet of rice, beans, and the occasional chicken leg (not to mention the copious amounts of sugar most Cubans ingest). I had become so used to seeing poor Cubans, I literally couldn't believe it when I finally met a few strong and affluent ones. That's Cuba. A place where poverty seeps into every aspect of people's lives, rendering everything hollow, even in places where one's efforts should produce strength.

[To be continued...] 

10 Reasons to Avoid Cuba (Part 1)

I just returned from three months living in Latin America, including Cuba. So many Spanish curse words to learn, so little time. Pinga. Maricon. Mierda. Puta. Best of all, if you want to double down, you just add a "re" to the beginning of a swear word, and you've got a new way to express yourself.  These words would come in handy in Havana... 

Cuba

Plaza de Revolucion

My first day, I walked past a building that looked like a kid's powder-blue castle. I entered and realized it was a police department. Seeing Fidel Castro's words on various plaques on the walls, I thought I'd take a picture and translate it later. Someone stopped me at and directed me to the front desk, about 30 feet away. I approached and asked if I could take a photo of the plaque. The uniformed woman said I couldn't.  Stunned at her lack of common sense, I walked backwards, sarcastically saying, "No es posible tomar una photo de palabras de Fidel Castro? En Cuba? Viva la revolucion!" 

My month-long experience in Havana did not get better from there. Before I explain exactly why and how Cuba relies on hype to boost its tourism numbers, I'll give you some tips if you--against all reason and decency--still want to visit.

The Good

You can see Havana in three days. Almost all the action is in or near Old Town, or Havana Vieja, and if you want to visit, stay there. An excellent tour bus costing 10 USD per person starts and ends at Plaza de Revolucion--you should take it as soon as possible to see where you'd like to go.

The usual list of places to see includes Capitolio (similar to America's Congress), Ernest Hemingway's house, Playas de Este (a beach), a tobacco factory or shop, Casa de la Musica, the Malecon, Bodeguita del Medio, Callejon de Hamel, Museo del Chocolate (a cafe), Hotel Nacional, Museum of Fine Arts (Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes de La Habana), and Fabrica de Arte (a hipster club).  Some people take bus tours via Cubatur or Havanatur to Trinidad, Varadero, Vinales, or Cienfuegos (known for fishing), but I only stayed in Havana.

My favorite spots were Museo del Chocolate, Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes, the beach (Playas de Este--wear sunscreen!), and Hotel Nacional (go inside and to the outdoor bar).  

by Mariano Rodriguez

Playas de Este

"Museum" of Chocolate

Cuba is unique because it lacks widespread WiFi (pronounced wee-fee in Cuba). To access WiFi, you must find hotspots throughout the city and input a number from a card.  You can buy a one-hour card from someone in the hotspot area for 3 USD.  If you're frugal like me, go directly to the local phone company's office (I went to the one on 17th and B), wait in line, show ID, and buy one for 1.50 USD. (Cuba's economy is so terrible, buying and re-selling anything to tourists is usually more attractive than working for the government.) 

Make sure the password isn't already scratched off, clear your browser's cache, and you'll get a pop-up ETECSA website prompting you for the two numbers you'll see on the card.  

Some other information:

1.  Cuba's national soda brand is Ciego Montero, and the cola flavor is better than Coke. As you might expect, it uses real sugar. If Cuba adds a small sticker on each can or bottle saying, "Made with Real Cuban Sugar" and exports it to the EU and China, it can watch the money roll in. Unfortunately, there's a U.S. naval blockade, and other countries aren't keen to let foreign companies compete with their own. 

The more you travel, the more you realize there's no such thing as "free trade." Every country protects its own farmers and agricultural sector, and the reason foreign-produced coffee is so widely available in North America is because its soil isn't ideal for growing coffee beans commercially.  In other words, there's no domestic coffee bean industry to protect, so America has few restrictions on foreign coffee beans. You still won't see many Juan Valdez or Cafe Britt cafes in North America, partly because of higher operating and legal compliance costs, which make it harder for countries with weaker currencies to open physical locations in the U.S. without preferences (such as lower tariffs and low insurance costs). Sadly, it's easier for developed countries to whine about trade deficits than actually create long-term incentives for truly effective international competition and cross-border investment. 

Cuba's best products -- not coming to a store near you

2.  When you go to any busy place, there will be a line.  Always ask, "Ultimo?" to determine whom you're behind, and when that person gets in line or moves forward, follow him or her. 

3.  Finally, download maps.me, a free VPN, and an offline Spanish-to-English dictionary on your cell phone before you visit.  Once you're in the country, some apps or webpages might not work, even if you have WiFi. I noticed one Google article on Cuba didn't load when I had WiFi. Next time I accessed WiFi, I tried again with the VPN and downloaded the article--which was not critical of Cuba--seamlessly. If something doesn't work in Cuba, don't automatically assume the government is blocking it--it's more likely Cuba doesn't have the necessary infrastructure to be compatible or to make it work.

The Bad and Ugly

I've visited about 40 countries, including impoverished ones like India, where I saw people living in shacks and sleeping on the ground a few meters from the Baby Taj, and people desperate enough to follow me for half a mile begging for money. I don't mind a lack of first-world amenities. I always try to live like the locals when I travel, partly because it's cheaper, but also because I don't see the point in traveling just to meet other tourists or see yet another beach. (Unless you're in Nice, France, where the beach has a stone surface, how much water and sand can you see in one lifetime?)  

I *uckin' hated Cuba.

1.  Cuba is like America, if the Least Business-Savvy Cotton Plantation Owners Had Won the Civil War

Cuba has all of modern America's worst traits--its jingoism, its excessive patriotism, its inability to handle criticism--and none of its best traits--entrepreneurship, technological infrastructure, and open media. After hearing me criticize Cuba, one waitress became upset and told me, "We have a saying in Cuba: 'If you don't love your country, it's like you don't love your mother.'" (I didn't ask if the phrase still applied if your mother was an abusive kleptocrat.)

Cuba was the penultimate country in the Western Hemisphere to ban slavery in 1886 (Brasil banned it in 1888, though it banned slave trading earlier). Cuba relies and relied so much on its tobacco, cocoa, and sugar industries--all linked to manual labor--it needed slaves to run its economy, just like Brasil. Today, in Cuba, a clear racial division exists between higher class jobs in medicine and academia and other jobs, even if the pay isn't vastly different.

I try to walk about 7 miles a day and take public transportation when abroad, so I notice patterns others might not see. When I passed by local hospitals or saw doctors in local restaurants getting lunch, almost every doctor had blue or green eyes and light skin. I met a black medical professor and raised my concerns with her. She agreed and said black professionals need to be twice as a good as non-black ones to be accepted in educated Cuban society. (Pop quiz: what other country does that remind you of?)

William Faulkner, on race relations generally and Emmett Till specifically

Property ownership is another way to gauge wealth. My Airbnb property owner had whiter skin than most Scandinavians. The government tries to provide housing for Cubans, but so many people have moved to Havana from smaller cities looking for tourism-related work, it could not keep up with demand. In Havana and elsewhere in Cuba, almost everyone lives in crowded conditions with family unless they have generous remittances or bought property a long time ago. 

Who rides the cramped buses in Havana? Besides me, almost all black-skinned persons, senior citizens, and almost no one with light eyes, indicating they need to commute to work much longer distances or can't afford taxis. Mind you, shared taxis for locals aren't very expensive--about 50 cents--but the bus is even cheaper at about 4 cents a ride. 

One doesn't need to be a keen observer to notice Cuba's oddities. A neighbor in my apartment complex enjoyed blasting music or the television at 12 in the morning. When I complained to my Airbnb landlord's assistant, she warned me against confronting him and pointed to her arm, saying, "Negro"--black.  Except for America, I've never been in a country where it was so openly acceptable to link a lack of manners to one's skin color. (My landlord eventually talked to him, and after some yelling, he stopped playing loud music at 11pm.)

Cuba taught me that it's possible to have racism without segregation. Like Brasil and Costa Rica, Cuba is racially diverse. I was born in the Middle East, and I can pass for a local in all three countries, but only in Cuba did I realize why Southern whites supported Jim Crow in America. If you had to deal with millions of poor people suddenly having the same rights as you, but without an education or way to succeed economically, would you take advantage of an opportunity to keep them away from your neighborhood, at least until they had similar education or financial support as you? 

Most Cubans have someone in Miami sending them money each month, but I wouldn't be surprised if most of the darker-skinned Cubans lack such connections because their families live or lived in more rural places where manual labor jobs would be more plentiful and news of refugee and exile programs more difficult to verify. In short, remittances from Miami probably favor educated and/or light-skinned Cubans. With private businesses finally being allowed, but banking loans unavailable to most people, Cuba might end up with major wealth disparities based on race--just like America.  (Some revolution, huh?)  

When you allow chattel slavery, it has long-term consequences. When looking for a place to live, if you can choose, pick a place that banned slavery or slave trading earlier rather than later, allowing more time for economic progress. Such a yardstick might not be useful in isolation, though. For example, Vermont partially banned slavery in 1777, but didn't need slaves to run the comparatively less labor-intensive business of dairy farming. Even today, Vermont is 95% white. 

Contrast Vermont's ban with Cuba's, and you'll see a potential source of Havana's odd culture. Spain banned slavery in 1811, including in colonies like Cuba; however, Cuba rejected the ban. In other words, given a choice, it intentionally decided not to take the more moral option.

Both America and Cuba have sold themselves a revolutionary vision that has no connection with what's actually happening on the ground. If America doesn't make a cultural u-turn, it may resemble Cuba in 200 years--glossy on the outside, rotten on the inside, bolstered by slick propaganda, and divided based on race and wealth.

2.  Smoking is Everywhere

Dunhill cigarettes cost 1.75 USD.  There is no sales tax.  I've never seen so many high school kids smoking in my life.  I even saw middle schoolers smoking. So much for Cuba's great educational system.  

To be fair, the elementary school kids I saw were well-behaved and played well together, and one Canadian-born father told me when the teachers tell the pre-schoolers to sleep, they all sleep without a fuss.

3.  Health Care is Free for Locals but is Decades Behind

I haven't gotten to Cuba's dual currency system, which incentivizes tourist theft, but let me tell you a story: when I needed Immodium, I asked a doctor, who said he needed to write me a prescription (probably for generic loperamide). He'd do it for free if he had a script, but he didn't have one, so he had to borrow one from a co-worker, and he needed 15 USD for it. Unfortunately for him, as he was saying this, he opened his wallet, which had a script. I didn't take him up on the offer. (In case it's not obvious, tourists do not receive free healthcare, and I'm not sure if Cuba still requires incoming airlines to add and collect a small healthcare fee on its behalf.) 

Why did I need a prescription for anti-diarrhea medicine? Because Cuba regulates and controls everything. When I got sick in the Philippines or Thailand, I could go anywhere and get medicines that would require a prescription in the U.S.  (I still remember floating in the air and giggling after taking muscle relaxants in Bangkok that were suggested to help me recover from diarrhea and exhaustion.) Pharmacies, when you can find them, only seem to have Vitamin B and C available, though I did see a Cuban-made anti-cholesterol medicine in one of Old Havana's pharmacies. I couldn't find ibuprofen or antibiotic cream in any pharmacy.

The lack of selection isn't limited to OTC drugs. I've been hearing-impaired since birth and have been lucky to see firsthand technological improvements in hearing aids over three decades. In Cuba, I saw a few people wearing hearing aids. They were the same ones I wore about 20 years ago. 

Don't believe the hype--Cuba lacks technology, including in medicine, though basic care is quite good. The people most fervent about Cuban healthcare are younger Cubans, who have only experienced rudimentary functions like annual checkups or vaccinations. Many people will tell you about someone with cancer who was cured after receiving free treatment, but upon delicate cross-examination, will disclose they don't actually know the person who received cancer treatment; in other words, it's hearsay and unreliable. It's true foreign medical students study in Cuba, but if you look closely at the flag on their sleeves above the Cuban flag, it's almost always an African country even poorer than Cuba. 

4.  Everyone Will Try to Rip You Off if You Don't Speak Spanish or Look Cuban

I expect a certain level of mendacity when I travel to poorer countries, but in Cuba, it's practically a national pastime. 

Cubans are poor, and main sources of wealth include tourism jobs, Miami remittances, or smuggled items (I met a Floridan in the airport who brought 5,000 USD cash to his relatives--he told me Cuba has been going downhill for a while). Because private businesses are new concepts to many Cubans, they haven't learned that creating good relationships can lead to higher income or repeat business. Like some American businesses, they tend to see everything in the short-term--a one-off opportunity to extract as much money from you as possible--a mindset encouraged by most tourists' decisions to stay only three or four days in Cuba. 

It's hard to hold a grudge, though. Doctors, like most government employees, make the equivalent of about 25 USD a month in Cuba, not including bonuses. As I explained above, they will rip you off just like almost everyone else in Cuba if given a chance.

Many restaurants and food stalls "forgot" to give me proper change or substituted the wrong currency. Even a fancy restaurant in Old Havana, when given a 100 CUC bill for a 20 CUC charge, gave me back 60 CUC. (That reminds me--when exchanging currency, get 10 CUC bills--anything larger will be difficult to break. Also, there's a 10% fee for changing U.S. dollars but not any other country's currency. Bring Euros, pounds, or Canadian dollars to avoid the ripoff, er, fee.)

In case you don't know already, Cuba has two currencies. One is called CUP, or moneda nacional. The one used by most tourists is called CUC.  Technically, as a tourist, you're not supposed to have CUP, but you'll get some as change if you pay CUC to an honest street vendor or build a relationship with a local business and ask to do an exchange.

CUCs are equivalent to U.S. dollars, and it takes 24 or 25 CUP to equal a single CUC.  You'll be able to identify the difference after a day or two, but just remember: CUC bills do not have pictures of people on the front, and CUC coins are generally silver-colored, not gold-colored. (By the way, if you're American, you cannot use the ATM machines--sanctions inconvenience you, too--whatever cash you bring in, that's it.) 

Quick--which one's worth more? 

Sometimes, the dual currency system leads to genuine mistakes. For example, a taxi ride in an old American car within Havana is usually 5 CUC for a tourist, but only 40 to 60 cents for a local. (The yellow cabs charge 5 CUC for any number of people if empty, but the price will vary depending on your Spanish.) When I was with a Cuban friend for a day, he told me to keep my mouth shut in taxis so we wouldn't be charged the tourist rate. At the end of our tour, before we went separate ways, he negotiated a ride in a motorized "rickshaw" after confirming in English with me it would be 10 CUP. The driver, however, thought he was being helped by his Cuban colleague and would be paid 10 CUC (double the tourist rate!). At the end of the short trip, after some yelling and threats of physical violence, the driver and I both departed angry. 

Cuba's attitude seems to be, "If you get hustled, you deserved it."  There's no remorse whatsoever. Always remember: you are expected to negotiate in Cuba. Most prices should be cut in half unless you know the going rate. Go with a local Cuban everywhere if you can, and let him or her do the talking. Your experience will be much more pleasant. If renting from Airbnb, stay with a family and negotiate your meals being included. I stayed in an apartment solo, which was a mistake. Most Cuban residential buildings aren't set up to have privacy, so I gained little by having a place to myself.

I'll end Part 1 with a joke:

Q: How do you know when a Cuban is lying to you? 
A: His lips are moving.

I wish I was kidding. 

[To be continued...]